burger buns, and evil wars hidden from the sun
by Althesushiloveingfanficsage
Summary: hi folks, this takes place after wandering hearts (READ IT) The resident slacker is forced to commit to a job, for like, more then a week? she and the boys all take part in this hopefully funny fic.
1. the chapter of pointlessness

Disclaimer- Yeah yeah you know what I have to say here. I own nothing close to love hina rights, all I own is a passion for writing.  
  
Authors notes- welcome back friends, miss me? Ok well in this installment of my fics I will fallow up on wondering hearts. To catch you up, an American teen named Alex (heh, self inserts are the root of all evil) was introduced to the members of the Hinita house and caught the attention of a certain indigo haired cutie. Well as of this story he is officially a tenant in the house and will live there for awhile. He and shinobu got quite close in the last fic so if you would please read it first I would be grateful, thank you. I'd also like to note my last name has been changed to protect me, there are those out to get me, really there are. Finally, this fic takes place in the middle of keitaro's second year at hinita house.  
  
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, this story involves role-playing games, but more on that later.  
  
Alright, let's get started.  
  
"And thus, Alex will hereby be roomed here in our attic, from here on!" With this statement keitaro hammered the sign on the trap door to the attic that signified that the room was indeed Alex's. "Aw thanks guys, you're all so nice to me." The scruffy blond said wiping away a fake tear. "So come on Rush lets see your new digs." Kitsune smiled her foxy smile. "Ok, ok, I give you, my room." Alex opened the door and led everyone up the ladder that led to the attic. "Wow!" the group replied as they looked around in amazement.  
  
Alex's room was so, for lack of a better word, cool! He had thick blue shag carpeting, lots of different colored lights, a TV, big comfy bed, beanbags and armchairs, and bookshelves all of a very odd and funny style. Alex smiled, "I have Su to thank, she funded me for all of it, and I just wonder where she found it." "Well seeing as I brought you home I needed to give you a habitat." Su smiled as Alex sweat dropped, "err yeah, habitat, right." "Well Al I think this calls for a party!" cheered kitsune as she threw out sake and all kinds of party favors from seemingly no where. "WHA! Hey hold on I just got settled!" Alex's pleas went unheard as Kitsune, Mutsumi, Su, and Sarah got carried away and began one of the big parties that the hinita house is famous for.  
  
Alex collapsed on his bed, glad that there were some paper walls around it; at least no one could see him. The party was entering its third hour and Su forced him to dance to every song, he was beat. "Just bring the lightning now god, please!" he pled as his wolf ears picked up the sound of various things breaking. He heard the door slide open and braced himself for Su to grab his arm, but he heard the door close again instead. He sat up and looked surprised to see Shinobu smiling at him. "Um hey Shinobu, where've you been, I've been trying to find you to dance with you." "Yeah, I usually try to hide when these parties start, safety precaution you know." "Ah yes." They both laughed for a moment and then a silence between them. "Aw man what do I do now, do I ask her to dance? A date? Should I ask her if she wants some punch?" Alex mentally debated the best way to handle the moment Shinobu was in the same boat, "Come on Shinobu think! You've already kissed him once, what do you do now?" "Shinobu I." "Alex I." They blushed having both spoken at the same time. "You first." "Ok, um, I just wanted to say.." Shinobu paused, not sure, "Do I tell him?" "Welcome home, I hope you stay with us for quite awhile." "Oh.um ok, thanks." This statement confused Alex, they had spent the last week together in the hospital and he had expected more, "oh well" he shrugged it off and was just about to ask her to dance when the door flung open, it was Su. "There you are Al, Dance with me!" Alex shot a look at shinobu that she could read like it was written on paper, "Help me!" Shinobu fallowed them out into the main room, then when the time was right, shoved Alex into Motoko's Chest face first. "I'm sorry Alex." Shinobu whispered in his ear as she watched Motoko launch him through the roof. Su smiled as the roof reformed thanks to her nanobots improving on any damages the detected, a precaution put in place to save money on repairs.  
  
"Ow, ow, big ow." Alex stood up and looked where he had landed; keitaro was nearby oddly enough, leaning ageist a lamp post. "Don't tell me, you met face first with Motoko's breast?" "Yeah, yeah. So where are we?" "Just outside of Hatini and Shiri's apartment building, they invited me in when they saw me land, to play D&D, wanna come along?" "Sure, but first I'm gonna move away from this lamp post." "Why?" "Because HERE COMES SETA'S VAN!!!" "AHHHHHHHH!!"  
  
Ok folks, chappie one done, not much but my slacker gene kicked in, oh well, I'll have more soon I hope. R&R or I'll tell Motoko You're the one who stole her entire pantie drawer (Looks evilly at Hatini.} 


	2. Another day another dollar

Disclaimer- Yeah yeah you know what I have to say here. I own nothing close to love hina rights, all I own is a passion for writing.  
  
Author's notes-ok folks, dungeons and dragons and Naru oh my, ran into a dead end, so I'll be putting this up for the next chapter, as well as changing the title and description. So sorry, it'll be good, I sware, don't kill me.  
  
Keitaro frantically ran around his room screaming his head off like someone had cut off his toe and he had just found it.  
  
"do I want to know what he's doing?" Alex asked Sarah as the two of them lounged on the couch watching cowboy bebop with kitsune.  
  
"he's just wigging out because he's afraid he'll fail the test he's takeing tomarrow." Kitsune smiled as she held a bottle of sake in her hand.  
  
Alex watched as she pounded down more of the drink, he had tried it before, but it turned out that Alex was never one for drinking alcohol, which is just as well, Soda had a similar effect on him anyway.  
  
Back in keitaro's room. "I can't do it!!!! I'm gonna fail and then Naru and mutsumi will never love me and I'll be a forth year loser and motoko will kill me and, WHAAAAA!!" keitaro slumped down and tears streamed down his face like waterfalls. Sure it was only the practice test, but you know how keitaro gets. "Keitaro if you don't shut your worthless little mouth I'll shut it for you!" screamed Naru as she peeked into his room via the hole in the cealing. She then noticed he was blushing as she glared at him, she soon realized why, her shirt was hanging loosely and he saw her bra. "KEITARO, YOU HENTAI!!!!!"  
  
"How do you pay for all the repairs on this place?" Alex asked as he watched keitaro get blasted through the floors above them only to land in front of the beboppers, and to have kitsune and sarah use him as a foot rest.  
  
"I usually try to pay it with the rent, but some people," keitaro glared and kitsune, "try to skip out on their rent by takeing advantage of their poor old land lord." "Hey! I'm inbetween jobs ok, gimmi a break!" "Your never not inbetween jobs you slacker!" "Hey slackers are people too, if you tickle us, do we not laugh, if you slap us will we not cry? If you prick us with a needle will we not scream and beat the living hell out of you before we take your wallet off your body after we K.O you?" Alex and sarah clapped at this little speech till they we're silenced by a glare from keitaro. "Look Kitsune, I'm calling you out, you pay back all the money you owe me by Friday, or. or..um." "or what?" asked kitsune "this little loser can't scare me." She thought. "Or I'll tell Haruka who keeps sneaking into the shop and stealing the best boose she has." Ok, Keitaro may not scare kitsune, but Haruka deffinitly did. "Fine damnit, time me, gimmi a week to get a job, and then I'll pay you back." She sighed, hopeing she'd think of a way to weasel out of this later. "Fine, and Alex, you may be a friend, but you'll need to start paying rent to ya know." "Hey, whoa, what brought this up?" Alex asked, surprised that keitaro even remembered that he lived there. "your drinking my last grape soda that I was saveing." Keitaro said with a glare as Alex looked over the name scribbled onto the can. "sorry man, I still have trouble reading jappanese." "it's ok, I'll be looking for a part time job too." Keitaro went back up to his room, and kitsune went to get another bottle so she could begin to weasel out of her new problem. Sarah looked at Alex, why the hell hadn't he just given himself enough rent money? "ABU!" was the noise comeing out of Alex's mouth as Su bashed him with a naked foot to the head. "Hello Su." Al moaned from the floor as he tried to get rid of the spirals for eyes he now had. "Hello Al, are you ready for more games?" oh no! alex thought, Games with Su= pain, experimentation, pain! "um. that's ok Su, I was just about to.uh. go play on my computer! Yeah that's it, bye!" Al bolted up the stairs at top speed trying to avoid tripping on motoko at the top of them. "watch where your going Rush, lest I yank out your tounge!" "okI'llrememberthatthankyou!" Al tore down the hallway, the reason why? Well, one does not turn down Su unless you want some mecha tamas trying to blast your ass to the stoneage! Said mecha tamas were flying up the stairs and upon seeing them, motoko decided she wanted to go with Alex. "EEEEEEEEE!!!!" she screamed as she ran full speed after Al, away from the demonic puppets of the crazy forign girl. Sarah ran with Su, fallowing the trail of distruction the turtles made. "why doesn't he just tap into his power already?" she wondered, a bit frustrated at the fact she couldn't figure it out.  
  
Motoko and Al were hidden the pile of beanbags that Al had stacked in a courner of his room. "Rush you had better stop touching my leg if you want to keep your hand." "motoko, that's not my hand." " eh.what?" she slowly looked down to see the real Tama-chan with her flipper on her leg. "oh shit!" Alex threw his hand over her mouth as she tried to scream. "Motoko, Motoko! If you scream Su will find us and then just imagin what she'll have those robotic beasts do, if you thought that tentical porn keitaro was looking at when you caught him last week was bad, just wait till su makes you experience it, calling it a full body cavity search, it'll make the airport pat downs seem easy." She glared at him, reminded of the incident, but nodded and kept silent, but she did look absolutely terrified. Alex reached forward and brushed tama off of her leg, and watched her fly away. Motoko looked at Alex so greatful. "Oh no, oh hell no, I am not gonna fall into the same problem that keitaros in right now, no sir.well maybe a little wouldn't be too bad." He looked at her and went red, as she was blushing because of how close they were. She thought to herself, "Alex is not a bad person, were not so lazy he would make a fine samari.maybe even good enough to fight me, and win, then we could get married because I could make up some dumb law that says if a man my age beats me I must marry him and then we could." her eyes went huge at the way her mind had worked itself into such un-motoko like thoughts. She would never act like this, why now?  
  
Authors note- hi again, miss me? Well here's another chapter, and I'd like to add to anyone who cares about OOC moments, Feck off! I'm sorry but if it makes it funny, I see nothing wrong with it. Ok, just making sure, thanks to my reviewers and my good friends at shinobu author fanfiction league, and um. thanks to dizzy, my muse, he's my pet weasel, he gives me ideas. No I've never seen a psychiatrist, why do you ask? 


	3. the begining of the trouble, or, flamein...

Disclaimer- Yeah yeah you know what I have to say here. I own nothing close to love hina rights, all I own is a passion for writing. I also don't own McDonalds, or any fast food joint, so please, STOP SHOOTING!!!! I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR SECRET SAUCE, CALL OFF YOUR TROOPS!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Author's notes- hi, more for my story, much fun so far eh?  
Well please R&R, read my other fics and well.um. I got nothing else to  
say really.  
  
"Well come to McDonalds,what would you like?" kitsune asked for the  
bazillenth time that morning.  
"How about your dignity, god knows your not using it." Sarah smiled  
evilly and watched as kitsune suppressed her rage.  
Sarah had been coming by once every hour to bug kitsune, due to the  
fact that she was now officially a burger flipper.  
Alex stood behind her, now on his lunch break from his new job at  
haruka's café.  
"How'd you get such a great job?" She asked angrily, "no ones ever  
there!"  
Alex shrugged,"Ya got me fox girl, I just asked and she said sure, you  
should be happy, they pay you more here, I barely make rent." He sweat  
dropped at the fact that a weeks worth of work was only enough for  
rent and a few expenses, such as food.  
  
"So how long do you think I can work here before I find something to  
blackmail the boss for so I can get paid but never really work here?"  
kitsune asked winking slyly.  
"Konno! No talking!" yelled a very large man in the back.  
She went rigid and a sweat drop appeared on her head.  
"Sorry boss, what can I get you?" she asked turning back to Alex and  
Sarah.  
"Um.just a number two and a milkshake ok?"  
"Thank you, your order will be ready in a moment, here is your cup,  
have a nice day."  
But I wasn't the cheerful tone of voice kitsune was using you had to  
pay attention to, it was in her usually enigmatic foxy eyes that the  
real story was, they screamed,  
"HELP ME; GET ME OUT OF THIS GREASY HELLHOLE!!!!!"  
Alex continued to smile with his eyes closed, much like mutsumi, and  
went to go get his drink as Sarah grinned evilly at Kitsune.  
Kitsune looked to the left and right and seeing no one, picked up  
Sarah,  
"Now you listen to me you little rat, stop coming in here to bug me or  
next time I see you, I'll stick you into the deep fryer!" Kitsune  
whispered as she held Sarah over the deep fryer, full of French fry's.  
"NO MOMMY, STOP DON'T!" Sarah yelled as the fake waterworks started  
up.  
Kitsune froze and saw that everyone in the store was glaring at her.  
"Oh nonono, I'm not her mom, I just live with her, err.no that's not  
good. um.her uh.her moms dead! Ah crap."  
  
Kitsune kicked back, on her five minute lunch break. "Damn kid, almost made me loses this gig." She sighed as she longed for the sweet soothing burn of her sake, but of coarse you couldn't drink on the job, no sir, that would be agents the rules. She grumbled as she sipped her soda, "how the hell does Alex get so smashed off of the caffeine in this junk?" Suddenly, she overheard a couple of the cooks talking. "So what about that Konno girl eh? She's almost ready to be sent down ain't she?" "Yeah, the boss will be happy to see her get slaughtered on the field, me to for that matter." "You're just saying that because she wouldn't sleep with you." "Yeah well." Kitsune froze, slaughtered, what the hell? The boss looked out the back door, spotting Kitsune lounging on some boxes. "Konno, get in here, now!" "Oh shit."  
  
Haitani and Shiri we're regretting their most recent job more then ever. "Why the hell are we doing this again?" shiri yelled over the explosion that had gone off right next to him. Haitani shielded his face from the shower of earth that had erupted from the crater the explosion had made. "Because now we have no other choice but death." He peeked out of the ditch he and his best friend we're lying in, and shot a few rounds off at some enemy troops. "I never thought I'd have to kill someone, I never planned on it." Shiri whimpered as he picked of an enemy troops head with his sniper rifle. "Aw quit you're whining, you wanted excitement, though I never thought we'd get so much of it working the fast food beat." "IN COMEING!!!" A grenade landed right next to them, with out a second thought, Haitani hucked it back out, watching it explode on it's late owner. "Ya ever notice how we're actually getting used to this war?" shiri Asked as he pulled off a shot he never could have done last week. "Nope, not really." Haitani caught sight of himself in the shine of a mirror they we're using to check for enemy troops when the shots we're too heavy. "God, if Kitsune saw me now I'd have to kill myself." He muttered as he realized he hadn't bathed in the last week and was covered in mud and blood. "Shiri old chum, mind if I drop off for a quick nap?" "Go ahead, I've got everything covered here, besides, our lunch should be arriving soon." "Ugh, If I have to eat one more burger..." "no no, today we get something special, I ordered pizza." "Will they deliver down here?" "Keitaro will" They laughed evilly and went back to the art of surviving; they had learned it so well in only a week.  
  
Keitaro screamed as he pulled a flameing pizza out of the oven. Alex and Sarah watched, amused as they watched Keitaro Launch said flameing pizza out the open doors, where it hit seta's passing van, this made seta's driving, if possible, worse. BAM, lamppost, Biff, hydrant, BING, some small child, BAM, fruit stand, BOOM, the gas tank blew and seta's van did three flips and rolled down hill. "AHHHH GOD LOOK OUT!!!" "RUN AWAY!" "OH NO NOT AGAIN!!!" These were the last things heard from the three old elder type folks as seta's van chased them down the street.  
  
"well that was interesting." Alex remarked after watching the scene wide eyed. 


	4. and now you know

Authors notes again- well, well, I see you've returned to this lovely little tale of slackers and part timers, good for you. Though I'd be happy if the more people then baka-alaskan would review this bloody story just so I know someone's reading it.  
  
"URASHIMA, BACK TO WORK!!!" Keitaro's boss, (who was related to Kitsune's boss), yelled from the back room. "AHH crap!" Keitaro ran to get the phone which had begun ringing. "Hello thank you calling pizza hut, how may I help you?" "ok, right, (scribbling on a pad of paper) ok, alright, and your where? Uhuh, password is hold the pickles hold the lettuce? Ok I'll have it there in twenty minutes, bye." He hung up and began making a pizza. "Anyone we know?" asked Alex as he enjoyed the fact that he had yet another break. "Those guys, you know, my best friends.uh.what were there names again?" Alex and Sarah facefaulted. "YOU STILL CAN'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES?!?!?" "It's easy to forget, can't you remember?" Alex sweat dropped. "Well now that you mention it, no." "YOU MORONS, it's Haitani and Shiri!" yelled Sarah in frustration. "How'd she remember?" keitaro asked Alex, ignoreing the fact that he was putting way too much sauce on the pizza. "you got me man, uh Keitaro..look down."  
  
Keitaro finally noticed his mistake, and in true keitaro fashion, freaked out, trying to fix it, and only making it worse. "keitaro, don't use too much of.oh never mind" Alexs sighed and sweatdropped as he watched Keitaro ruin a perfectally good pizza.  
  
What they didn't notice was Sarah was behind the counter as well, amazingly, tossing a pizza dough like a pro.  
  
Alex's attention was drawn away from his bumbling friend to notice this pizza prodigy in the making. "Wow Sarah, where'd you learn to make pizza like that?" She spread the sauce thin but not too thin as she answered "When you live out of a van with a man who's cooking skills don't stray too far from the microwave oven, you pick up a few things"  
  
Keitaro and Alex watched as Sarah moved fluidly and gracefully around the room, getting the toppings and laying them on the layer of cheese in almost a ballet fashion. "this is like on of those magical girls moments." Alex muttered as Sarah flew grace fully past her pizza and with a flick of her wrist had deposited the perfect amount of peperoini with out even opening her eyes.  
  
"WHAA!!! I should be takeing notes or something!" keitaro scrambled to find a notebook. "Hey Sarah, you don't go to school yet right?" Alex asked watching the Califorian girl perform a spin and shower pinapple on her creation. "Nope, I won't get registered for another year I think, why?" "Well if your interested I could get you a job at Haruka's place, you don't have to do much and pay sucks, well for me, your papa's paying your rent so I guess it'll be better for you, what do ya say?" she pole vaulted across the room on the oven paddle after depositing the masterpiece into the oven next to keitaro's crappy one, and landing on Alex's sholders, rideing piggyback. "sure why not, I'll I ever do is explore those tunnels, a change would be nice." She pulled on Alex's blond hair. "KEEYA, YA mule, to the drink machine, I need a refill." Alex sweatdropped and walked over to the soda dispenser. "AHHHH my pizza!!!!" Keitaro ran over to the oven which was now spewing black smoke. He opened the door and the smoke filled the room. "AHHH, Keitaro you dork! Open a window or something!" "AHHHH, that's not my hair that's my ears, OWWWW!!!" There was a loud thud as Alex tripped in the darkness and hit the floor face first. Meanwhile, Keitaro had turned off the oven, grabbed Sarahs pizza and ran out the door to make his first delivery.  
  
"Konno, we have something to discuss." Kitsune shuddered, all of the worst conversations of her life had started like that. *FLASHBACK TO THIRD GRADE* "Now mitsune, we need to talk about how violent you are with the other children at recess, we've discussed this before and we're considering a change in schools, maybe send you to a privet school, with nuns, you liked their outfits right?" *flashback to high school* "Uh, kitsune.about this relationship we've had, it's nice and all but, I've found someone else, someone who gives me what I want. I'm sorry Kitsune but if you would just put out as much as people say you do..well, good bye then. *flashback to last week* Kitsune, we need to talk about this bar tab you've been working up, I need you to pay, or I'll have to cut you off." *flash to the present* "Konno, you're a lousy employee, your cooking stinks, and your customer service is the worst I've seen in years, but I need all the help I can get, I'm ready to let you in on a secret that will make sure you never have to work again, but if you except it, your choices are to do what we ask and get payed enough to live comfortably for the rest of your days, or die, are you ready to learn the secret?" Kitsune looked nervous, as serious as things got at home, or in the bar, she had never been threatened with death. "um..i uh." She stumbled over the words and decided, she was a gambler, and going for the big haul over the big fall is exactally what she did. "ok, I'm in!"  
  
The elevator door opened after five minutes of going down. Kitsune's normally closed eyes opened wide as she was amazed at what she saw.  
  
It was a huge underground cavern, must have gone all the way to Tokyo, and this part of it was filled with military looking buildings, troops in camo with Ms on their chests as a patch.  
  
"Come this way Konno." Kitsune's boss led her into one of the buildings, into a small room with a screen and a slide projector. "Sit." He commanded pointing to a chair. She sat and the lights dimmed. *click* a scene depecting a triangle with the golden Arches on top, Burger kings logo to the right, and taco bell on the left. "for the past three years, these three major food producers have been at each others necks trying to destroy each other, knowing that the survivor of this war will become the only fast food joint in japan."  
  
*click* scene showing several teenagers holding spatulas and looking like a Ad for the navy, complete with a WE NEED YOU logo strapped to the bottom. "we've been using employees for years, sending them out there, if you last three months you can go home and get paid." The lights turned on and the boss smiled at kitsune. "so, what size combat boots do you wear?"  
  
Haitani, Shiri, Keitaro, and Alex sat around, enjoying Sarahs pizza. After dropping Sarah off and finding out the café was closeing early for a new paint job, Alex had wandered off to find keitaro, not hard seeing as he himself had gotten lost, but between the two half wits they formed a whole wit and managed to find their way. They we're now oblivious to the gunshots and explosions around them, Sarah's pizza was that good!  
  
"so this whole war thing, how long do you have to stay in it?" keitaro asked the two troop/fastfood jockys. "well we've been here two, maybe three weeks, but with no sunlight it's hard to say." Shiri responded. "feels like I've been here for years." Haitani added as he looked at the stone cealing hundreds of feet above them. "He's just saying that because he misses his girlfriend." Shiri whispered. "you have a girl?" Alex asked skeptically. "yeah, shes so wonderful, if I live through this, I'm gonna ask her to marry me." "No way!!" Alex and Keitaro yelled in shocked unison. "yeah but she's only using him." Shiri sighed. "I've tried to get him to see she's just a bitch but..AGHU!" shiri was cut off as haitani punched him. "well um. we're very happy for you haitani, aren't we Alex." Keitaro added elbowing him. "wha? Oh yeah, happy." Alex smiled a very fake smile, but Haitani bought it. "See Shiri? Their happy for me." He smiled as he noogied his best friend. Slowly all eyes drifted over to the final slice of Sarah's wonderful pizza. "MINE!" they all dove at once and began wrestling for the last slice.  
  
Boy that was short wasn't it? Sorry guys, a bit mores comeing up, in the mean time, read and review, and do the same for any of my other stories, I sware that their much better then this one. Also I guess if you want suggestions, read tears of a clown, I liked that one. Ok, I'm gonna go now.  
  
Kitsune- oh come on you loser, don't leave us hanging!  
  
Al- hey leave me alone, your just a cartoon character!  
  
Haitani- Yeah but how sane can you really be if your argueing with a cartoon character?  
  
Al- good point.  
  
Kitsune- oh quit staling and get writeing, I want to see if I get out of this alive. 


	5. Buddy and dizzy arrive

Authors notes again- hi guys, more from me, I still don't own love hina, and I want it really bad! Well ok maybe I just want the last two books that just went on sale near my home. Also I want a vespa like the one I have in the story, or seta's van, that thing is damn near indistructable. I do own myself however, and my dog mentioned below, and the weasel, he doesn't really exist, but I invented him for a manga series starring myself that only my friends and kids at school read.  
  
Alex looked at the large box with suspicion, it had arrived this morning, a large wooden crate with no return address, simply addressed to Rush. No not RUSH like rush delivery, but Rush, like his last name.  
  
Alex walked up and kicked it, and then cringed, lest it explode on him. Normally he would have asked Su to send it through an X-ray, but once again he was alone in the hinita house, at school or work, he and tama-chan were the only two hanging around, even kitsune had to work today.  
  
"kitsune.work, that's a good one." He muttered to himself as he looked around to assure he was alone, and then he grew out several large claws, (power granted by having part wolf/neko) and he cut the tape that held the lid on.  
  
"ROWF!" BAM! Al was knocked flat on his butt by a very large curly black haired dog, about the size of a small cow, and he weighed about that much. "AHH, buddy get off me!" Alex yelled as he tried to push the heavy dog off of him.  
  
After further struggling, al freed himself from his reunited hound; he was greeted by another friendly furry face. "DIZZY!" Al yelled as a small gray weasel with tennis ball sized eyes jumped at him, and hugged him. The weasel handed Alex a note with his name on it. He tore it open and looked it over,  
  
Dear Al,  
  
We decided seeing as your living in Japan for awhile (lucky mofo) we thought we'd send you a care package. Make sure your on the internet every night so we can chat with you, you lousy slacker.  
  
Much love, Caz, Ian, Sam, Jaimie, other Alex, and Andrew.  
  
p.s we're holding on to your game cube and things until you comeback, hope you don't mind cause there's nothing you can do about it.  
  
"Aw." Al thought, remembering how sad he'd been when he told his friends that he couldn't hang with them for a while. He'd have to remember to save up and bring the gang over to Japan for a holiday.  
  
Alex looked at his two pets, and wondered how his friends had actually gotten them mailed, and then decided he really didn't want to know.  
  
(back in Utah)  
  
Ian- ok mailman, you can have your inflatable girlfriend back now, we promised not to hurt her and we didn't.  
  
Alex Calluet- so we'll just send her back to you.  
  
Caz- piece by piece  
  
All Al's friends- MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Mailman (on the telephone with them)- NO! that wasn't part of the deal.NOOOOOOO!  
  
(back in Japan)  
  
Al sat happily with his pets, when a knock sounded on his door.  
  
"it's open."  
  
The door opened and keitaro walked in with a pepperoni pizza and a large soda.  
  
"that'll be (some amount of yen, but I don't know the going rate of yen VS. pizza so imagine I do ok?)." He said as he noticed the giant dog on the floor and weasel on Al's head.  
  
"um.should I even ask?"  
  
"I don't know why you would bother, everything else around here is much weirder then these two."  
  
"good point."  
  
"stick around, have some pizza."  
  
"ok, but haitani and shiri want us to stop by later and give them a hand at "work"."  
  
"ok, um.why should they need our help, I mean come on, no offense but.we suck, I bet we can't even shoot a gun and hit a target."  
  
"yeah well.let's just see later, ok?"  
  
"yeah cool."  
  
(meanwhile, kitsune)  
  
Kitsune had been lobbing grenades all day at a pair of voices that she was having a conversation with. Having run out of grenades, they and she had been throwing rocks at each other, not really caring anymore.  
  
"so how's the burger king side, you guys got it ok over there?" kitsune asked the two men who had, an hour ago, tried to kill her, and vise versa.  
  
"nah, we've slept in this trench for about two weeks now, I'm pretty sure that the Fri.'s they send us are from those malformed ugly potatoes that fall on the floor." Said the louder one, whom kitsune had noticed spoke more then the smaller one.  
  
"yeah, and if I get out of this alive, I am never going to eat another whopper again."  
  
"that goes for me and the Big Mac." Kitsune responded, wondering if there was anyway to get some booze.  
  
"well at least we have one thing your side doesn't."  
  
"what's that?" kitsune asked.  
  
"Sake! We found a secret deposit of it buried under our trench in a crate. We figured, if it doesn't kill us the other armies will."  
  
"here here, I want some, can I join your side?"  
  
"well I don't think the officer would approve, but hey, why not, we could use some cute girls on our side." The smaller one answered.  
  
"shiri, are you sure?" haitani whispered to his pal, "what if she seduces us and takes us prisoner?"  
  
"well then she's nicer then your girl, just seducing and keeping you whipped OW!"  
  
haitani bashed shiri again.  
  
"Ow, man.my nose, dude it's true, she's only using you for your car and you know it."  
  
An argument was spared as kitsune crawled into the trench.  
  
"howdy boys, where's that sake? Wait a minute.you guys are." the boys looked eager, seeing as they had recognized kitsune right away. "keitaro's friends who I never remember the names of."  
  
Facefault!  
  
A/n- ok guys, sorry for this chapter being so short but I just finished my songfic so I'm takeing it easy. R&R please. 


	6. it's all comeing back to him

Disclaimer- I do not own love hina, I do wish I was in Japan right now though, ah yes, should I get I girlfriend, I am going to watch the cherry blossoms in spring with her, so romantic don't cha think? Oh yeah, I do own myself, and dizzy and buddy.  
  
Alex looked around the dimly lit bedroom, it looked like a tomb. Behind him keitaro krept in, clutching a rope in his hand.  
  
"So this is Sarah's room." The pair looked around it. "This is like a scene from tomb raider, or raiders of the lost arc." Al remarked as he admired the dusty old artifacts littering the room.  
  
"Man, how far back does this place go?" keitaro asked, shining a flashlight beam down the dark tunnel.  
  
With a third step into the dungeon, a low rumbling noise began.  
  
"Um, keitaro, I've seen this movie, this is the part when the huge bolder."  
  
Alex was cut off as he and keitaro ran screaming down the hall, being chased by a huge bolder with three eyes painted on it.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!" suddenly, Al disappeared into a pit, leavening poor keitaro to outrun the rock.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHH OOF!" Al landed roughly on a chair.  
  
"Welcome Alex."  
  
Alex looked up and saw Sarah sitting in a large armchair, behind a desk.  
  
"Sarah? What the hell?"  
  
"Alex, why haven't you tapped into your power before now?"  
  
"Huh? What power?"  
  
"Your author powers you dork!"  
  
"Eh? Author powers?"  
  
"WHAT!?! You really don't remember? You can't honestly say that can you?"  
  
"Um.no?"  
  
"Oh my god, you really don't remember do you?"  
  
"REMEMBER WHAT!?!"  
  
"Oh boy.ahem, I am special agent Macdougal of the MUAPA; you are, as of this moment under my jurisdiction.."  
  
"Wait, what? Special agent? MUAPA?"  
  
"Be quiet, I'm getting to all this, I have been designated as the officer of this area for the MUAPA, they are an organization dedicated to keeping the peace and making sure things remain as they should in anime worlds."  
  
"You're making this up right?"  
  
"NO! Now shut up and let me finish, MUAPA stands for the Multi Universe Anime Protection Agency, and members of our agents are in every anime, and should that anime attract fan fiction writers, it's up to us to keep an eye on them, and make sure they don't cause irreparable damage to the anime."  
  
"Wait, wait, and wait! Your saying, that none of this is real?"  
  
"Bingo, you are an author, doing a self insert into a fanfic."  
  
"Sarah, have you been drinking kitsune's sake again?"  
  
"NO!!! I'm telling the truth!"  
  
"Ok because kitsune told me that last time you did you told everyone the matrix is real and nothing around us is actually there."  
  
"It is! I swear that none of this is true! Al, think about it, do you really think your parents would let you stay in Japan? Do you really think that you could legally take computer classes online and get a high school diploma? Do you really think that your friends could send something so heavy through the mail for free?"  
  
"Um.no, no, and yes."  
  
"So."  
  
"No way.you mean.this is real isn't it, I am in a fan fiction?"  
  
"About time you caught on."  
  
"But how come I don't have any cool powers, how come I'm not having a steamy make out session right now?"  
  
"Well, we've had cases like this, it's because you're so stupid you don't know how to just give yourself powers, odds are, you could have any power you like, but you'll probably just end up a wuss."  
  
"Your so kind, but what now? How do I get out?"  
  
"Of the fanfic? You don't dummy, this isn't real, and the real you are off somewhere typing this."  
  
"So what am I?"  
  
"You know how you told me about you drawing yourself in comics? Well it's my theory that you are the cartoon version of you. Whenever you're needed in a story or a comic, this version of you is used, you just don't remember it."  
  
"wow, that's a lot to swallow so quickly, I just found out that I really don't exist, and now I have to go find keitaro and help haitani and shiri with.whatever it is they called us for, you wouldn't happen to have a slurpie machine down here would you?"  
  
"Um.no, by the way, why did you come into my room anyway?"  
  
"Um.keitaro and I heard you weren't in work and he told me you don't go to school yet, so we decided to find you before we left to help haitani and shiri."  
  
"Oh, I'll be fine, now get on with it, and remember, don't let anyone know you're the author, if the characters realize this is a fanfic, they might try to exploit your powers, and the whole story could come crashing down."  
  
"Happy thought."  
  
"Yeah, and should I feel that the story is in danger and could hurt the characters, I will delete you and all of your stories, so none of them will remember you."  
  
"You're so kind."  
  
"It's my job man."  
  
"Yeah, yeah ok, can I go now?"  
  
"Yeah, you can locate keitaro hanging over the dangerously snakey spikey pit."  
  
"Uh.thanks."  
  
A/N ok, sorry for such a lame excuse for a chapter but things are a bit frantic at school right now, satisfy your urge to read better chapters by reading my other fics, if you would. Please R&R, even if the stories complete I love to hear what you think. Also, please read my author profile for the secret story I put in there about how I got my author powers and what they are. Please R&R on that as well. 


	7. a hopefully better chapter then the last...

Disclaimer- I don't own anything here except dizzy buddy and myself.  
  
A/N- hi, welcome to the next chapter, it's been awhile I'll admit but I've had some *Ahem* personal matters to attend to.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- like what?  
  
Al- everyone allow me to introduce my window buddie kitsune, I just downloaded her awhile ago and now she's decided to sit on my fanfics while I type them and be my muse.  
  
Chibi kitsune- what "personal matters"?  
  
Al- nothing, drop it.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- tell me!!!  
  
Al- Anyway, ahem, as of this date of December 8, 2003, kitsune and I are part of a thread on the adult swim message boards that is supporting love hina. Should we show enough support then adult swim will air LH on it's programming block.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- Really!?!  
  
Al- well they never exactally said that they would, but in theory if thousands of supporters come to keep the thread alive then they'll have too.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- sounds like a lost cause to me.  
  
Al- don't be so pessimistic, anyway, all I'm asking is that everyone go to the adult swim message boards and sign up. At this point you go to "love hina suggestions with synopsis" (or something like that, it's the only love hina thread on there) and show your support by posting.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- yeah, just think about it, you guys could see Love hina the series without having to buy or rent the DVD's or buy a special channel.  
  
Al- wouldn't that be cool? Oh well, self promotion time over, time to read the story.  
  
Keitaro looked more frightened then the girls had ever made him look before as he rode buddy down the hallway of the military base.  
  
"This is crazy, I shouldn't be here, I should be at home studying or something!" he thought as a bullet whizzed passed his head.  
  
He threw a bottle of Sake with a flaming rag in the top and it hit one of his pursuers.  
  
"AAAGGHHH!" the scream echoed through out the hallway as the man rolled around on the floor trying to put out the flames.  
  
"So much for the stealth approach." Keitaro muttered as buddy turned a sharp corner and almost lost his rider and cargo.  
  
(Flashback to twenty minutes ago)  
  
(Chibi Kitsune- turns on the cool flashback special effects)  
  
Keitaro on buddy's back and Al on vespa arrive at the fox hole kitsune, haitani and shiri are hiding in.  
  
"Hey guys, what's up?" Alex asked removing his helmet.  
  
"Well," kitsune said getting that look on her face (YOU know the one.)  
  
"We've decided that the best way to get out of this war alive is to bring this cavern down, all we have to do is overload the main generator and BOOM! This place will cave in like Al around pizza."  
  
"Nice analogy." Al said with a sigh and a sweat drop.  
  
"Thank you, our problem is that it'll take 30 minutes to overload the generator, and we'll need to raise some hell so no one is focused on us."  
  
"So you need us?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll go and get to the generator, I'm the only one who can get passed the hand print doors, and haitani is going to go and raise the troops that he worked for and get them to attack, while shiri is making sure that our escape route is covered."  
  
"And what might I ask are we for?" Keitaro asked hesitantly.  
  
"well I need some back up, once inside, keitaro, I want you to blast the weapons holding rooms, and Al, I want you to release the P.O.Ws and then, the two of you cause as much mayhem as you can on your way to our exit, located here." Kitsune pointed at a map which seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"How'd you do that?" Alex asked intrigued.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"so you want us to go in there, lightly armed, agenst highly trained troops, a huge army of them, and just piss them off?" keitaro asked, with a look on his face that clearly said,   
  
"I'm a dead man."  
  
"Yep, that's about the size of it, here, wear these earphones, it'll let you hear me when I want to communicate and these goggles will let you see what ever the other one of us your talking to is seeing, now, synchronize your watches, it is now 05:30 p.m"  
  
"Err…kitsune, I don't have a watch." Al raised his hand to prove this.  
  
"Fine whatever, everybody ready then?"  
  
Everyone answers at the same time "no!"  
  
"too bad, lets go!" and with that the teams set off, Al on vespa with kitsune clinging to his jacket, Keitaro holding a death grip on buddy's collar, and haitani and shiri wishing they didn't have to run to their locations.  
  
(Flashback ends)  
  
Keitaro came back to reality as he realized that buddy was stopped.  
  
"What's the matter buddy?"  
  
The dog looked down each hallway in front of them; there we're three going in different directions.  
  
"Oh um…let's see now, eani meani miney…" Keitaro was cut off as guards rounded the corner and fired.  
  
"MOE!" screamed keitaro as buddy tore down the left hallway.  
  
"Quick in there!" Keitaro pointed and he and the large black dog darted into a dark room.  
  
Keitaro found the light and they were amazed, this room looked like shinobu's, pink floor, pink walls, flowers, stuffed dolls, a lot of stuffed dolls, and some very frilly outfits.  
  
"Where are we now?" keitaro walked over to the desk and studied some pictures.  
  
"This must be who's room this is…holy hell, she's a general!"  
  
Keitaro stared at the picture of the pretty brunet in her army attire, and then spotted something that made him drop the picture in shock.  
  
A print club sticker of a pretty brunet and haitani, with a border of wedding bells and a bride and groom, on the back a note was scribbled,  
  
Dear Jennifer,  
  
When I return from my trip please meet me at hinata train station at 3:00, I wish to take your hand in marriage.  
  
Sincerely, haitani.  
  
A/n- oh no, poor haitani is about to kill his girl in a massive cave in, can keitaro save her in time? Find out in the next chap…  
  
Kitsune- oh no you don't bub!  
  
Al- wha?  
  
Chibi Kitsune- hey, it's big me, I am sexy  
  
Kitsune- thanks, (turns to Al) I've stood by while you've driven this story into the ground, it sucks because your too lazy to spend more then twenty minutes on a chapter, so go on and keep typing, or else.  
  
Al- or else what?  
  
Kitsune- or else I'll show motoko the website you book marked, you know the one with her and her sister, and the handcuffs.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- good one sister!  
  
Al-who's side are you on trator?  
  
Chibi Kitsune- The side with the sexy leader of corse.  
  
Kitsune- well are you gonna write your fic or not?  
  
Al- ALLRIGHT ALLRIGHT! On with the fic.  
  
Kitsune- I thought so.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- ha!  
  
Kitsune awoke in a dark room, tied tightly to a wooden chair.  
  
"What the hell?" she winced as a light over her head came on and her head throbbed, particularly the back of it where she assumed a good sized lump was.  
  
"Glad your awake." Said a sinister yet femine voice.  
  
"What's going on!" a fairly angry kitsune yelled at the voice.  
  
"Well we found you trying to get into the main generator, now why would a grunt like you need to be in there with a bag of high explosives?"  
  
"Um…do I get a lifeline?"  
  
"No, I'm the only audience, and there's no fifty fifty, however if you can reach a phone, feel free to phone a friend." The voice cackled.  
  
"Thanks, I will." Kitsune thought as she pushed a button on her watch.  
  
"Now, why were you trying to reach the generator?" growled the voice.  
  
"Um…you tell me where we are, and then I'll tell you my evil kidnapper."  
  
(A few moments earlier)  
  
Alex was in a trouble…  
  
Ok, let's think this through carefully, I dropped off kitsune, successfully snuck into the enemy base, deposited my vespa in an easy to reach location, and snuck into the tank garage, that part went well, but it's the part where that alarm went off and I dove under this cardboard box when all the guards rushed in here that screwed me over.  
  
He peeked out of the hole in the box and looked at the feet of many troops suiting up and climbing into tanks, why didn't any of them notice the cardboard box labeled ORANGES? You'd think for a garage it would be a bit odd for a box of oranges.  
  
As the room cleared, Alex lifted up the box and peeked around, surprised to see another box labeled ORANGES which was moving across the floor by means of a pair of black boots extending out beneath it.  
  
Alex moved his box over and walked along side this box, and asked,  
  
"Got some good mileage on your box?"  
  
The box flipped over and a man in full sneak suit was pointing a handgun and Al's head.  
  
"Whoa, whoa! Calm down there pal, you're in the wrong military base."  
  
"What do you mean? Who are you!?"  
  
"Just a friend, now snake, the military base you want is in that fic by Krimson."   
  
(Shameless plug!)  
  
"Oh…ok, bye." And the video game spy slunk off to go hitch a ride to the airport.  
  
"I wonder if Sarah never told me about the truth, would that have just happened?"  
  
He was saved answering this by suddenly seeing nothing but an empty dark room in his left eye and hearing an angry voice,  
  
"Now, why were you trying to reach the generator?" growled the voice.  
  
"Um…you tell me where we are, and then I'll tell you my evil kidnapper."  
  
Al saw the fist flying out off the darkness and ducked instinctively, only to remember when his butt hit the floor that it wasn't his face she was swinging at.  
  
He heard kitsune's painful yelp as the fist connected.  
  
Alex whispered into his mic,  
  
"Help is on the way kitsune, just hold on a bit longer."  
  
He ran for the nearest tank, he had a plan.  
  
(chibi Kitsune- well that was fun, you going all hero on big me now?)  
  
(Al- no, now shut up the fic's not over yet)  
  
Shiri panted and sat down hard on a rock near the exit to the cavern.  
  
"well at least this part of the plan is going well, nothing could go wrong so soon." He smiled until he heard the click of a gun behind him.  
  
PFFT! The sound of something pierceing the air and a pain in shiri's neck  
  
Chibi Kitsune- is it over now?  
  
Al-yeah, did'ja like it?  
  
Chibi kitsune- yeah, it's alright but what was that bit about the "personal bisness" up at the top, I forgot about it till now.  
  
Al- Geez just drop it already ok, if you must know I was grounded for bad grades ok?  
  
Chibi Kitsune- that was it? That was the big secret?  
  
Al- well no but it's the truth.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- how lame.  
  
Al- don't make me recycle you.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- Shutting up. 


	8. ruh row, ruble!

claimer of dis-  
  
Chibi desktop kitsune- Al owns germany, however he does not, will not, and probably never owned love hina.  
  
Kitsune sat in the dark room, tied to the chair, had the situation not been so dire she would have laughed, she really didn't think she would ever be in a scene that made her think of bad bondage movies, but here she was.  
  
"What is your name!" demanded the strict female voice.  
  
"Konno Mitsune, but you can call me Kitsune, so may I ask whats your name?"  
  
The voice appeared taken aback by this question, nobody had every asked the interrogators name, they usually just cried or yelled or demanded, but no one ever asked nicely.  
  
"um...cindy."  
  
Cindy! what kind of a name was Cindy for a interragator! Kitsune almost laughed but she checked herself.  
  
"So is this all you do, interrogate people? or do you have another job?"   
  
Cindy seemed very proud as she gave her full title,  
  
"I am the senior General, second only to the grand pooba of our cause the great B.A."  
  
"B.A? that mean bad ass?"  
  
"We don't know, He worked with us for awhile but he started this whole war, hopeing to get us all better wages by helping us become the peak of the fast food industry."  
  
"How nobel, have you ever met him?" Kitsune asked, slyly smileing as she turned the tabels on the questioner.  
  
"Once, I was surprised, he seemed so young for a leader, he can't have even been old enough legally buy beer yet."  
  
"Hmmm, well I guess anyone who's named grand pooba of anything must be fun to hang with."  
  
"I wouldn't know, he simply awarded me my promotion and went back to reading comics."  
  
"Ah, so do you think we'll win?"  
  
"Naturally, we have the better troops."  
  
"you sure about that? i've been out there among the troops and i gotta say you guys need to improve the conditions or you'll have a mutiny on your hands."  
  
"Really? the conditions are that bad?"  
  
"oh yeah, why else would i have tried to blow up the other side by juiceing our cannons in a single shot? We hate it down here."  
  
"hmm, well your complants are not our problems, you however are in deep, what do you know about the boy, urashima?"  
  
"boy, what boy?" Kitsune asked not batting a eye.  
  
"Him!" the girl snapped her fingers and a thump, fallowed by a click, and light was shed on a tied up and beaten and bloody.  
  
"I see a swirling vortex of pain!" he said weakly as he looked around, dazed.  
  
"oh, sorry." a large guard put on keitaro's glasses, allowing him to see again.  
  
"Oh, hi Kitsune, um...how ya doing?"  
  
"not very well now that one of my friends is captured." she said glareing at him.  
  
"oh so you do know him?" the voice inquired.  
  
"uh...noooooo."  
  
"LIAR."  
  
"Crap."  
  
Meanwhile, at the burgerking base...  
  
Haitani- Friends, burger flippers, busboys, lend me your ears! How long have we suffered under the whip of our supierior officers, bideing their time until it's conveniant for them to strike? how long have we been away from our homes, just because they wont let us leave? how long has it been sence you've had something without a side of fri's? I say it's been too long, so why don't we march, march on the enamy right this instant and take them down!  
  
Another soilder- Or we could defeat our officers and leave.  
  
Soilders- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Haitani- no!  
  
Soilders- YEAH!!!! (charge off to batter burgerking leaders.)  
  
Haitani- (sweatdrop) i should have gone to work at jack in the box...  
  
and also meanwhile, in a tank in the Mc. donalds base...  
  
Al- ok, i'm in the tank, now how do you start this thing?  
  
(looks around at various buttons and switches.)  
  
Al- it's so much eaiser in the videogames...what the?  
  
(tank rattles and Al hits the visual switch on accident, the screen shows the tank being lifted up by a giant robot with a dog's head.)  
  
Robot- yo quro taco bell, yo quro destroy!!!!!!  
  
AL- crap....  
  
A/N- and thus ends up another so called chapter, R&R and all that jazz, the more i get the sooner i finish and you will no longer have to look at my storys popping up all over the place. 


	9. Ready? too bad, FIGHT!

claimer of dis-   
  
Chibi Kitsune- Al dosen't own love hina, now bugger off, all of ya!  
  
Al- dare i ask what's wrong with you my little digital drunkard?  
  
Chibi Kitsune- I'm gonna be all alone for valentines day you know!  
  
Al- ah...true, i'm sorry but i was gonna hang out with my buddies on Valentines day and watch anime.  
  
Chibi Kitsune- GRRR...put DVD's before me will you?!?!?  
  
Chibi Kitsune smashes Al's songfile with a bottle, sending it into the recycle bin  
  
Al- AHHHHHH NOOOOO!!!  
  
Al Was a tad nervous.  
  
He was at the moment, in a tank, suspended hundreds of feet in the air, by the fist of a giant mecha-chuahuha (spelled wrong probably)  
  
Not a fear of hights, nor of mecha's was al terrifide, he was curled in the fetal position, frightened out of his mind because so many small dog's hated him for reasons yet for him to be sure of, and now he figured that they had sent a giant of their kind to exact revenge on his neko hide.  
  
Shiri was haveing the time of his life.  
  
Shiri had been captured by the taco bell scouts, and interrogated, but his cleaver lieing and fast talk (learned from haitani) had convinced them he was a undercover agent from their side.  
  
He had then continued to help finish their mecha, with help from Su, who he had called to consult, seeing as she had made enough of them.  
  
He know got to pilot the giant small dog, and he was clearly enjoying the power he now held over the tiny tank in his fist.  
  
"HAHAHAHA, who's too short now?" He laughed wickedly, showing to us a dark side of him none of us had expected.  
  
Al in the tank had regained some of his self control, and had crawled back into the drivers seat.  
  
"Now let's see, which button opens a communication line...how about this one?" He pushed a yellow button on the panel, and the tank unloaded it's only ammo, directally above the robots head and into the stone cealing.  
  
"HAHAHAHA, puny mortal, you missed!" The robot cackled.  
  
A large hunk of stone falls directally onto the mecha's head, causeing it to drop Al, and the tank.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Al fell forward onto the panel, hitting many buttons at once, and this produced a interesting reaction.  
  
Five large pieces of mech came hurtaling out of the garage of Mc. Donalds base, and attached themselves to the tank, turning it into a mech, strangly, shiri reconized it.  
  
"Oh my lord, it's the hamburgaler."  
  
Al sat up in his chair, the tanks interior had changed, as had the outfit he was wearing, it seemed the body suit was connected to the mech, and as a total anime otaku, he found no trouble getting used to his new vehical.  
  
"Bring it doggie." He said as he struck a fighting stance.  
  
"Oh you are scrap!" Shiri charged forward.  
  
Kitsune and Keitaro watched, half amused, half worried by the new situation.  
  
Officers ran left and right, makeing reports and checking screens, a mecha battle, not unlike the cheesy power ranger style fights keitaro used to love when he was a kid, was shown on each screen, and haitani's girlfriend/general's daughter, was sitting in a large chair, rapping out commands and every now and then telling kitsune to shut up, the fox girl had been makeing snide remarks the entire time.  
  
"Real top notch job you have going on here, some bozo breaks into your base and steals a mecha, and now two mechas are trashing the base and you wasted time interrogateing me."  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
Keitaro leaned in and whispered in Kitsune's ear,  
  
"Kitsune, knock it off, that babe is haitani's bride to be."  
  
"WHA?" Kitsune said slightly too loud.  
  
"Didn't i tell you to shut up?" The girl growled at Kitsune with death in her eyes, and then that deathly gaze turned to Keitaro. "Wait a minute, I know you, your that kid Haitani's always talking about...um...shiri?"  
  
"Err, no, i'm Keitaro Urashima."  
  
"Oh. Well he talks about you too."  
  
"Well if you continue this war, you might just kill Haitani, he's on burger king's side and has no idea your on this side."  
  
"Hmm, pity, he had some comic's i wanted to sell."  
  
"Wait, wait, wait, your telling me, that you dated him just to sell his comic book collection, and then dump him?" Kitsune asked, dumbstruck by the idea.  
  
"Yup, seems like it."  
  
"Wow, i wish i had thought of that."  
  
Keitaro face faulted to the floor, as a thundering boom sent quite a few other people to the floor as the room shook.  
  
"Get us in the air you fools!" Haitani's soon to be ex commanded.  
  
Haitani in question, was at the moment wondering if he would ever eat fast food again.  
  
After haveing failed a speech ment to inspire a army to charge recklessly into battle to help keitaro and company, Haitani had come across a large black dog and a weasel, and was now sitting with them watching a pair of huge robots battle across the underground cavern.  
  
Haitani turned to the large eye'd weasel on the dogs head.  
  
"You know, all things considered, finding a weasel and a dog down here was the least weird thing of my day."  
  
"Grr." responded the weasel with a shrug  
  
Haitani suddenly realized something...  
  
hold up, left, left, right, uppercut, flying kick? That's the combo that Shiri uses, Shriri's in that robot!"   
  
The weasel and dog looked at each other, and shrugged, not really understanding why this was any cause to get excited.  
  
"But if shiri is useing the style i think he is then he's leaveing himself open for...."  
  
Al smiled, chuckled slightly, this was almost too easy, it was like playing an arcade game, he almost saw the buttons in his head.  
  
A fist came for his head, he ducked.  
  
He swung, the other mech dodged.  
  
A kick, low, he jumped, landed right on the leg of the other bot, and punched it right in the kisser.  
  
Shiri flew back, the bot hit the ground hard, sparks were flying, this was so cool!  
  
"Time to show this guy why no one's beaten me at super giant showdown in the mall for three years."  
  
A/N- okies, a ficcy chappie for my pallies in the fanfiction world. R&R. 


	10. luck?

Disclaimer-  
  
Chibi Desktop Kitsune- Al dosen't own love hina, the only comic he does own, the one he draws by himself, will most likely never become famous.  
  
Al- Oh now that is it! I'm gonna put you in a zip folder and E-mail you to abudaby!  
  
CDK- Where's that?  
  
Al- Somewhere in the middle east.  
  
CDK- Oh...crap.  
  
BASH!!!!  
  
Shiri was sent to the floor of his mech, as the mech itself went crashing into a hanger of the Mc. Donalds base.  
  
Oh you are SO gonna pay for that!!! Shiri lept to his feet and the mech fallowed suit, and then sent a high kick into the face of Al's mecha, sending Al flying into the building that once housed some troops bunkers.  
  
Al in turn, got his mecha to stand, and after much exagerated poseing, launched a barrage of missles at shiri, who attempted to dodge and lost the left arm of his mech.  
  
Haitani sat on a hill far enough away to avoid damage as he, Buddy, and Dizzy watched the wonderfully cheesy battle that reminded them of so many bad monster movies, dizzy even had popcorn.  
  
Haitani spied a blimb floating casually in the air, with a large golden M in it.  
  
"Wonder where Keitaro and kitsune got to?"   
  
He laughed as he watched the blimb swerve, barely avoiding a falling rock, from the cracking stone cealing.  
  
"Hey can I have some of that?" He asked Dizzy as he noticed the popcorn the weasel had gotten from nowhere.  
  
Keitaro and Kitsune clung to each other screaming in fear as the entire deck of the blimb shifted again to avoid being destroyed by the mech fight and the falling rocks and stray bullets that were the direct product of that fight.  
  
"Reverse thrust to the engines, hard to port! Relase helium from the nose, no you idiot I said port! forget it I'll do it myself!" Haitani's girlfriend/ Keitaro and Kitsune's interrogator/ Mc. Donalds general Grabbed the large wheel of the airship and spun it hard to try and regain control.  
  
"I don't wanna die yet, i'm still a virgin!" Keitaro whimpered as the pair of captives rolled across the floor and hit the wall.  
  
"Well I could fix that for you." Kitsune offered with a laugh.  
  
"How can you be jokeing at a time like this!?!" Keitaro demanded as sparks shot from a nearby control pad.  
  
"Listen you, we'll be fine, I know that this was not where I ment to kick it, when I go out it'll be my way, and I'll be happy, I am not happy right now because i don't know if Al, Haitani and Shiri are gonna be ok, and I will not die when my friend really need me." Kitsune gave him the strangest look, it was determined and yet calming, "Besides, if i don't keep a sense of humor who will?"  
  
Keitaro stared as he felt himself calm down, "Ok, what's the plan?"  
  
"That's more like it, now i've been picking at my ropes so all you need to do is bite through them and then i can untie you, i'm pretty sure no one will notice us."  
  
Keitaro had to agree, the crew was panicing and trying to keep from dieing.  
  
"Alright, let's do this." Kitsune turned around and Keitaro began biteing at the ropes that kept her hands tied together tightly.  
  
"Ya know if we we're dateing, I would comment on how kinky this is, the rope and all, but i'll keep quiet." Kitsune said to keitaro while he bit at the rope.  
  
She smiled knowing how normally this would cause Keitaro to blush and freak out.  
  
"Yeah, but not as kinky as the thong your wearing." He winked and spit out some rope.  
  
Kitsune blushed and chuckled, startled that keitaro had seen her thong, and complimented her on it without studdering or blushing, perhaps she would make a man out of him yet.  
  
Keitaro was mentally celebrateing as he had said something flirty to her without looking stupid, at this moment he bit through the ropes and Kitsune grabed at his ropes and untied him quickly.  
  
"Ok, now what?" Keitaro asked as they stood and rubbed their wrists.  
  
"Well Keitaro, in times like this it calls for something desperate and stupid.  
  
To prove this, Kitsune ran over to the general and grabbed her from behind.  
  
"Give me a contact with the mecha from our side or else!" Kitsune jabbed a finger into the girls back, pretending to have a gun.  
  
"There's no way this will work." Keitaro thought sadly as he prepaired to be recaptured.  
  
"Do what she says." The girl told he few remaining officers on the bridge.  
  
Alex was just about to perform a really cool laser attack that involved lots of dance type moves, but just at the peak of his spin speed, a screen popped up in his mecha control room, and the sudden distraction caused him to miss the landing and crash to the ground.  
  
"K...kitsune?" Al asked confused as he stood up slowly.  
  
"Yeah it's me, Keitaro and I are on the Zeplin you see above you."  
  
Al turned the mecha's viewscreen and spotted them.  
  
"You mean the blimp?"  
  
"It is a zeplin!" Kitsune demanded with a snarl  
  
"Ok, ok zeplin, whatever, what should I do?" He stood the mecha up.  
  
"Ok um...try and get shiri to realize that it's your butt his kicking."  
  
"You mean that's shiri in the other mecha? And hey, what do you mean kicking my butt, he's the one missing a arm!"  
  
"Whatever, just try and get him to realize who you are."  
  
Shiri watched confused as the mecha who, a moment before had faceplanted on the floor, was now takeing some pipe and rubble from the crushed buildings.  
  
He took some of the bits and made a arrow that pointed at himself, and then wrote AL in big letters with bits of building.  
  
"You have AL!?! YOU BASTARD!!!" Shiri yelled as he took a swing at Al.  
  
"Nonono you idiot!" Al closed his eye's, not wanting to see the fist comeing.  
  
Al waited, nothing...he opened his eyes and shiri flicked his mecha nose.  
  
"Just kidding, how ya doing Al?" Shiri's mecha's megaphone voice chuckled.  
  
"Excellent, now we're comeing down ok?" Kitsune smiled into the viewscreens direction, she had outfoxed the army and was about to get away better off then she had thought...well, without the pay.  
  
The girl whom haitani had been about to marry suddenly gave a jerk and flipped Kitsune over her shoulder, sending the foxgirl into keitaro.  
  
"Guards!" The girl screamed and what few guards hadn't abandoned the ship ran into the room, guns ready.  
  
"Hey kitsune?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Time for one of those really stupid moves, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Dare I ask what it is?"  
  
"Grab my hand and fallow me."  
  
She winked and once Keitaro had his hand in hers she yelled in the direction of the still turned on viewscreen"Hey Al, Catch us!" and before anyone could process what this ment, she pulled Keitaro and the two of them crashed out one of the windows of the airship.  
  
AL watched in horror as he seemed to move in slow motion, as he dove, trying so hard to get his giant mecha hand under the tiny falling forms of Keitaro and Kitsune.  
  
So slow, too slow, he'd never make it...and then, yes! His right hand, pointing finger, Keitaro had grabbed on and was pulling himself onto the safety of the hand.  
  
"Nooooooo!" A scream and the girl who had caused the whole trouble threw herself out the broken window, determined to kill the sorce of her downfall, the girl with the thin eyes!  
  
Kitsune was struck by the falling form of the general, and sent off the mecha's hand, sending the two of them spinning off twords the ground.  
  
"You moron!" Kitsune screamed as she was, for one of the few times in her life, scared.  
  
And then, just as Kitsune was flashing back over her life, wondering why she ever had a crush on Seta when she knew Naru liked her, noticeing how most of the guys she had dated, she dumped because they only wanted a good screw, and she noticed how much fun she had had with Al and the boys and Mutsumi at the bar, and felt bad that she wouldn't be able to do it again, and then, it stopped.  
  
She opened her eyes, and was, for the first time, speechless, Shiri's mecha's fingers had grabbed the other girl by the leg, and had lowered the two of them close enough to the ground that Kitsune could drop safely.  
  
"I got you!" Haitani Yelled from the ground below.  
  
Kitsune and the girl fell, and rather then catch the falling babes, haitani pretty much just became a pad for them to land on.  
  
"Ow, you ok? huh?" Haitani stared, dumbfounded as he saw his bride to be, sweaty and mad glareing at kitsune.  
  
"We're breaking up!" The girl said to haitani with a look that clearly said, "You loser."  
  
"Wha....why?" Haitani was now even more dumbfounded.  
  
"You can't be friends with this slutty witch and date me, pick!" The girl turned and glared at Haitani.  
  
Haitani remained silent, not fully grasping the situation, makeing a choice that would effect his and his friends lives for ever.  
  
R&R we're almost done, hasn't this story been fun?  
  
Well please R&R and i'll be greatful, even if i get flames so hateful, I love the input and indeed,  
  
Chibi Kitsune- all the help he can get he needs. 


	11. not much left to say

Disclaimer-  
  
Chibi Desktop Kitsune- Guess this is the last chapter your gonna write for this fic huh?  
  
AL- yup, what a long strange trip it's been.  
  
Chibi Desktop Kitsune- Al, why use a line that has been passed down from stoner to stoner for generations?  
  
Al- it discribes my life in general  
  
CDK- true true, well you still don't own love hina you know.  
  
Al- yeah, (sigh)  
  
The gang sat around a table at their favorite bar, laughing and jokeing, acting as if their lives had not been in jepordy a few hours earlier.  
  
Haitani and Shiri got up and said their good byes, very tired from the last few weeks, they decided the best thing to do was get some R&R.  
  
On the drive home, neither spoke for awhile, untill Haitani finally spoke,  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being such a moron and not trusting you, you knew all along she was trouble."  
  
"It's ok man, you were booty blind."  
  
"We still buds?"  
  
"dude, rageing bulls couldn't break our friendship."  
  
"Dude, as sweet as that was, it was so gay."  
  
(sweatdrop)"I know, but it called for it."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The boys drove off into the night.  
  
as for kitsune....  
  
"WHAAAAA!!!"  
  
"Oooo, sneaking in on me in the bathroom again Keitaro, naughty naughty, guess you'll just have to take a beating from the girls."  
  
"No Kitsune i sware i didn't mean it, please don't tell Naru, i'll do anything!!!"  
  
"How does you covering me rent for the next little while sound."  
  
(keitaro breaks down sobbing) "Alright, just don't tell."  
  
"No problem, but next time knock, your just lucky I was just admireing my chest in the mirror, if it was something else i'd think you were some kind of a sicko."  
  
"Yeah...sure...excuse me i think i have to go sell my furniture to pay your rent tab..."  
  
Al- Well there you go.  
  
CDK- That's it?  
  
Al- um....yeah, R&R as usual gang, and please enjoy my other Fics, as well as one that will be posted soon starring me and quiet a few other Authors, all members of SFFAL (shinobu author fanfiction leauge).  
  
CDK- You cannot be telling the truth, your just gonna stop the fic with that tiny little chapter?  
  
Al- yup, all that had to be said has been said, goodnight everybody.  
  
CDK- No this is not goodnight, write more, that chapter was short, noooooooo! 


End file.
